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Funny Shakespeare Quotes

Have a laugh with Shakespeare's comebacks

Shakespeare's insults are some of his funniest and most memorable quotes. Who knew Early Modern English could be so sassy? There's no need to search any further for a witty comeback; enjoy the list below.

Funny Shakespeare Quotes and Insults

Thou sodden-witted lord! thou hast no more brain than I have in mine elbows

— Troilus and Cressida, Act 2 Scene 1, Lines 42-43; Thersites to Ajax

I do bite my thumb, sir

— Romeo and Juliet, Act 1 Scene 1, Line 44; Sampson to Abram
Two men in black with the appearance of front-row forwards, linked as in a scrum, carry another figure in white on their shoulders, with two other figures in white pushing the shoulder of one of the carriers. On the right an older man appears to be attempting to steady the load.
Romeo and Juliet, RSC, 1986

Would thou wert clean enough to spit upon!

— Timon of Athens, Act 4 Scene 3, line 361; Timon to Apemantus

Go, prick thy face and over-red thy fear, / Thou lily-livered boy

— Macbeth, Act 5 Scene 3, Lines 14-15; Macbeth to a servant
Macbeth Royal Shakespeare Company, 1967 (featuring funny hats). All characters are dressed in white. Macbeth and his lady sit on high-backed chairs facing us, other characters sit on stools around and facing them. All wear paper or cardboard crowns, Macbeth's and his lady's being taller than the rest.
Macbeth, RSC, 1967

I do desire we may be better strangers

— As You Like It, Act 3 Scene 2, Line 254; Orlando to Jacques

There’s no more faith in thee than in a stewed prune

— Henry IV Part 1, Act 3 Scene 3, Line 111-12 ; Falstaff to Mistress Quickly
Falstaff has a red gown, shaggy long almost-white hair, and a short brown beard, he holds a tankard. Justice Silence wears a white shirt, and has his hands upraised, his eyes closed, and his mouth open.
Henry IV Part 2, RSC, 2000

Thou whoreson zed, thou unnecessary letter!

— King Lear, Act 2 Scene 2, line 62; Earl of Kent to Oswald

You are not worth another word else I’d call you knave

— All's Well That Ends Well, Act 2 Scene 3, lines 262-63; Lafew to Parolles
A painting of the rehearsal, with two characters at the front of the stage, which is depicted by patches of strokes of different colours. It is very Impressionistic.
Bastion Rehearsal of All's Well That Ends Well, 1989

You Banbury cheese!

— Merry Wives of Windsor, Act 1 Scene 1, line 120; Bardolph to Slender

I am sick when I do look on thee

— A Midsummer Night's Dream, Act 2 Scene 1, line 212; Demetrius to Helena

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